While initiating a discussion about boundaries can be scary, awkward or vulnerable, the conversation may be more welcomed than you imagine, and either way, the end result is worth it.
We make hundreds of yes or no decisions daily, even if just to ourselves — no, I won’t stay in bed even though I kind of want to; yes, I’ll invite a new neighbor over for coffee — and good reasons for both our yeses and our nos can lead to wholeness and holiness. But looking back on my life, I see that a few yeses, which, like Mary’s, came in the face of uncertainty and even bafflement, have led to a life that I love.
Door-slamming isn’t a practice that I’d recommend, but I learned some valuable lessons from one surprising outburst. I’m taking those lessons with me as I tread more gently across my threshold.
No matter what’s going on, I do have some choice in the matter of whether I fall into the grumpy or the friendly camp. I think it’s area worth exerting some reflective, positive control.
Getting clear about what we don’t value enough to spend time on helps us ensure that there is enough time to spend on the things that we do value. It can be easy to mindlessly waste time, and making a list of what we won’t do can help keep us from slipping into the time-waste vortex.
It’s worth considering what alternative job descriptions we’d like to inhabit, because once identified, we can figure out how to incorporate aspects of those dreams into our ordinary lives, adding some fun and variety to the everyday, and also helping us claim a different side of our multifaceted identities.